高一作文

The Anonymous Path

| 点击:

【www.hnjzgkzyc.com--高一作文】

     Between dormitory three and seven is a narrow cement path arrayed with lines of pines and palms. Its real name remains a mystery to us, so it is all right for me to call it the Anonymous Path.  On warm days, when the sunshine penetrates into the room through the crystalline window, I like to watch the Anonymous Path in the sun. Quite often, I wish there would be a halcony outside the window, so that I could have a better view.
      However, I still can tell a great deal of what is going on a long the path without leaving my desk.  The Anonymous Path plays its own music although its melody is not as grand as Guanghua Avenue or as romantic as the path in Xi Garden.
     In the early morning, the slight rhythmical footsteps along the path wake up the sound sleeping cuckoos on time.  Lots of early birds are flying to the lawn in front of the Xianghui Hall for the daily morning exercise. Gradually, these footsteps become more intensive, accompanied by froufrou.  Students, carrying books and bags, are rushing toward classrooms for lessons. The sweet clang of keys shows someone is busy searching for the right bicycle. Then the whir of fast whirling wheels whizzes a way with the clink of the bell. The easiest to identify is the strange clatter of a rusty bike.
     In the daytime, the sound of the Anonymous Path turns a bit dull;footsteps, whizzes and chitchats could make you dizzy.When the sun sets, the musical rustle of pals walking side by side leads the symphony. But occasionally, a sudden rain will interrupt it and bring forward a forte.  There is the pitpat of the rain dropping on the green leaves and the jingle knocking on the tin shed. Even when the stillness of the night envelops the path,the wind is still conducting a berceuse as a coda of the whole-day performance.
     Every path has its peculiar sound and glamour. The sound of the Anonymous Path has been part of our life on campus.

简  评
    本文描写了作者宿舍窗前一条无名小街。作者没有描写小街的美景,而是运用了大量的象声词,形象地模拟了作者每天听到的各种声音,反映出学生一天的忙碌生活,表现了作者独特的构思和丰富的想像力。清晨,响起轻微的有节奏的脚步声(slight rhythmical footsteps)——那是学生在晨跑;渐渐的,脚步声越来越密集,伴随着衣裙的沙沙声(froufrou)——那是学生在赶去上课;找自行车时发出金属撞击的铿锵声(sweet clang)车轮驶过的呼呼声(thewhiroffast whirling wheels)伴随着清脆的铃声(the clink of the bell);还有锈迹斑斑的旧车发出的哗啦哗啦声(the strange clatter)等。  白天,无名小街上的声音比较平淡:脚步声(footsteps)、自行车的飕飕声(whizzes)和闲聊声(chitchats)。太阳落山时,作者把各种声音比做乐曲:好友结伴而行的沙沙声(the musical rustle)领衔一曲交响乐(symphiny),突降的大雨构成了强音(forte),雨点落在树叶上响起轻快的啪嗒声(pitpat),落在金属上发出叮当声(jingle),夜幕笼罩小街时风声仿佛在唱了一曲催眠曲(berceuse),为一天的表演奏响了终曲(coda)。
    遗憾的是,有些象声词都过于生僻,影响了读者的理解和欣赏,否则效果会更好。
    (点评教师:黄莺)

本文来源:http://www.hnjzgkzyc.com/gaozhongzuowen/111970.html

上一篇:Fax-传真回复

下一篇:Peaceful Spring